Last week was a week of decompression to deal with a profound depression. My client commitment that I wrapped up was really wrapped up for me. The bank shut the company down. I’ll spare you the details, but this is a company that I worked for more than 10 years for ten years. The president and many of the people are folks that I’ve known for a long time. To see it fail, and to see 100 pairs of feet on the street in this economy was depressing. Plus, here I am almost 50 years old, and I’ve never had a business problem that I couldn’t fix.
To be fair, I told my client it would be a tough fix. The worst thing is that we found a replacement lender who was willing to step in. I think that caused the current bank some issues. The current lender would have to commit to a write-down (which they had verbally committed to do). They did a turnabout contemporaneous with their being acquired by another bank (who we were warned by our replacement lender was very, very difficult). The tone changed, and they ultimately stopped funding just three weeks shy of our replacement lender coming on board.
A good analogy would be crawling through the desert on your hands and knees only to be bit by a rattler within site of the oasis. I did everything within my control to affect a different outcome. I couldn’t have worked any harder or any longer or any smarter. The time and energy commitment was substantial, and with no further goal to work toward, no focus, no finish line, the reality of the situation crashed upon my head. I felt just as if a loved one had died. I grieved for the employees who would be facing financial difficulties in this uncertain economy.
So from this pit of exhaustion and depression, I have emerged. (Thats sounds dramatic, but true!) I got on my mountain bike. Thighs burned, winded. Ugh. Another day, I did step ups on a large rock. Thighs burned. Winded. Yet another day, step ups again. Arm exercises with a heavy piece of wood. Thighs burned. Less winded. Okay, there is some progress!
I didn’t think them workout posting worthy due to their short duration. I know that there is nothing wrong with starting small. But I didn’t post them. This week I will post my efforts–feeble or otherwise. As I write I can feel my muscles. They are not sore, but I can feel them. I know that they want to be felt, and they want to be strong.
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July 27th, 2009
leisa
Recommit::::::> I thought I had done that earlier. Now, I need to start again…almost like starting over. It was almost a year ago when I started this blog. And, for about 4.5 months I was disciplined and making progress.
Then January client commitments sucked me in. And additional client commitments sucked me in. It’s been the busiest time of my professional life. Forget about fitting in exercise; I was trying to fit in sleep.
I’ve concluded my work with one client. It was not a happy circumstance. But I know that in looking back, there isn’t one thing that I could have done differently. As I write that, I have to wonder that if I have that outlook about a job, why not have that outlook regarding my physical fitness? Oh, I know the answer. It’s called priorities.
Just as our wild, successful geniuses had serial failures yet were undeterred, I’ll treat recommitting to exercise as a new experiment that might end differently! I still have 391 days before I turn 50. If I can make exercise a priority in 1/3 of those days, I will have achieved something. And work can be a priority for 1/3 of those days, and family for the other third.
But this all or nothing stuff for months on end, as these last few months where work has been the priority, has left me feeling like a character in a video game. The green has faded to a pulsating yellow….I know that recharging with exercise will get the green back.
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July 19th, 2009
leisa
I believe that I can serve as the poster child for falling off a wagon. In mid January I began a client job that that immediately sucked me into a vortex of ’stuff to do’. Forty five days later I had another client (in addition!) start and the process begin. I currently have clients that seem to need me full time.
If I had been working my body as much as I’ve been working my schedule to make it fit in the conscious hours of my day, then I’d bee quite buff. At least the frenetic pace has helped with weight loss, but I suspect that some of that was loss of muscle tone as well. I do know that I have clothes that I can now wear.
I KNOW that my energy will improve and my stress will be reduced. I’ll have to invoke a habit that helped me some years ago. First, lay out the workout wear (socks, shoes, top/bottom) where all I have to do is put it on–not dig through drawers or laundry baskets et. Second, no matter HOW tired, sick etc I feel, put them on and commit to five minutes. The transition from lethargy, regardless of its cause, is changing momentum. I suppose it is one of those physics laws that at body at rest stays at rest, a body in motion stays in motion.
Having an easier transition between the two (laid out sports wear) will a body at rest become a body in motion.
Despite this wagon incident, I’ve some beautiful clothes that I’m glad to be able to wear again.
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April 9th, 2009
leisa
Well, I didn’t have Willie Nelson with me, but I did have my daughter who is in training to do a 10K and my three girls. Today is her day off and my first day back after being a bit of a slug. So a walk was just what both of us needed.
I had a very robust workout yesterday with my volunteer dog transport and I’m sore today in my back and shoulders. Time to get back in the groove. Though inactive over the last few weeks, I’ve maintained my weight which is a good thing.
Still working lots of hours and will be for the next three months. I’m also working on a not for profit idea to supply animal shelters with collars and leads. Naturally I’m preying on all of my off line friends–not really. I’m just using them as a wall against which I can slap some ideas to concretize my thinking on it. I came up with the idea after buying 50 yards of webbing and 100 metal buckles to make leashes by hand. I can make a high quality lead for $3 that retails for about $12-15. I’ve since bought 350 yards of webbing (you cannot imagine how heavy it is), to continue the the process after burning through that pretty quickly.
This small production with me as a piece rate seamstress is fine for my current goal of supplying all of my adult dog transportees with his/her very own high quality lead ,as they navigate the journey from being a shelter dog to a dog with a permanent home. I can make a lead in 5 minutes. Cut, burn the ends through the gas flame and sew the handle and the snap. You’d be hard pressed to tell that it was made by me and not a pet supplier! It’s been a few years since I’ve broken the trusty Bernina out. I don’t remember the needle being that hard to thread!
But as I think of all of the shelters scraping buy and trying to find quality collars/leads to handle their charges, I know that there is a way to ease their burden. Plus, on our transports, we’ve had dogs break their collars–D rings snap, collar snap (plastic) breaks–break their leads–snap breaks, the shank breaks. We even had a dog break a stainless steel choke chain. It’s a terrible thing to have a dog that you do not know get away. Thankfully, all of the ones that it has happened to have come back to us. But we hear of other transports where they get away and don’t come back.
Workout:
- Type: Walk
- Date: 02/15/2009
- Time: 10:30:00
- Total Time: 1:00:00.00
- Average Heart rate: 119
- Max Heart rate: 152
- Calories: 259
- Distance: 3 miles
- Average Pace: 20:00/mile
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February 15th, 2009
leisa
A consulting project came up quickly that required lots of time. Not blogging much either on my regular blog and certainly not here. I’ve worked 10+ hour days for every day for two weeks (even the weekends). Yeah, I know its and excuse, and not a terribly good one at that. It’s been a while since At least writing this makes me realize how lousy and lame it is…………..shame is a wonderful motivator.
Nice to get some billable hours though, so no complaints there. Neck and back are sore from the hunching over the computer. I’m sitting here going through resumes for my client for a position that needs to be hired (that I’m currently filling). It is surprising how poorly presented many of the resumes are: poor paper (copy paper), structure, grammar, spelling and not bothering to sign the cover letter–all in resumes where folks should know better.
Perhaps my obsession with nice paper and presentation is dinosauresque in this time of uploaded, electronic resumes. Hey, but if dinosaurs are hiring, you might as well impress them with what they find important. I’m confident that my spelling and grammar requirements are not old-fashioned.
Though I’ve been a toad, I see that many of you are continuing your inspirational discipline to your fitness goals.
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February 8th, 2009
leisa
First trail run (/walk) in a while. I could not coax Ella to come along. Daisey and Macy came along. A very cold, gray day. The pond has an ice skim on it. Tim’s water wheel has frozen ice cycles. I wished for my camera. There was a group of ducks swimming in a small unfrozen area. They made me cold just looking at them.
I’ll be glad to get my monitor back. It needed a new battery and a new housing as it did not sustain the pressure to test for leaks. While I still lust for a Garmin Forerunner, with this uncertain economy, I’ll keep my monitor, which works just fine. We are in expense lock down mode. I really don’t need any additional excercise accoutrements. I merely need to get mobilized. And it felt good to do that today.
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 01/18/2009
- Time: 15:35:00
- Total Time: 00:35:00.00
- Calories: 151
- Distance: 1.75 miles
- Average Pace: 20:00/mile
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January 18th, 2009
leisa
First: Happy New Year Everyone! I’ve not logged on since my Christmas morning walk. My belated Christmas present was a sinus infection that put me out of commission. I have a family history of virulent auto-immune disorders in my family. Accordingly, I try to minimize my exposure to antibiotics. So I wait and wait until my symptoms are intolerable, and then I go to the doctor. But whatever crud that I have has firmly taken root. Only today was I able to breathe well enough to exercise.
I walked with my dogs. Daisey pulled so badly it was also an upper body workout. Ella is very gun shy. Someone was blasting some shells, and that scared her, so she was under my feet.
We had nice holidays. I had a nice NY’s dinner, though one couple had to cancel because they were ill with this stuff. I made some Chinese Five Spice Duck leg quarters served with caramelized red onions and spinach and a side of butternut squash ravioli. I had anticipated making some homeade sweet potato gnocci, but elected to quell that ambition as soon as I found the pre-made ravioli at BJ’s. With some butter, sauteed onions and bacon with a sprinkling of grated cheese–the gnocci could never have topped it. (It is also what is orginally called for in the original Bon Appetit recipe). I made a luscious, beautiful lemon tart for dessert. I found a neat appetizer which was eggs stuffed with crab meat (with some wasabit). Man were they ever good! I consciously fixed a manageable, but elegant and delicious dinner. I’ve had some pretty ambitious dinner’s that left me exhausted and unable to enjoy my guests. All in all a lovely evening with good friends. And we were all able to stay up until midnight!
I’ve not been able to taste a meal since just before Christmas. Unfortunately that has not slowed my eating! Very modest weight gain over the holiday–less than 2lbs (since T-G). I consider that pretty good–particularly since I was immoderate in my eating. What I could not taste in quality I made up for in quantity!
I have been doing my medicine ball workout on a softer note than before. So nothing has gone to flab. I did send my Polar monitor off to have the batteries refreshed. I’m looking forward to getting it back–which should coincide with my return to full vigor.
I did use this time to brush up on some of my investor skills training. I re-read several of my technical analysis books while sitting by the wood stove with my dogs and cats around me. The reading is dry, but I lubricated the process with some beer and wine! Actually, it was nice to go through these books after having them rest for a couple of years since my last reading.
Sometimes I feel like one of those video game characters where there life force goes from green to pale yellow—and then it starts to blink which means you’re in real trouble if you encounter yet another germ. In the future, I’ll not wait until it is blinking before I go to the doctor.
Workout:
- Type: Walk
- Date: 01/13/2009
- Time: 17:50:47
- Total Time: 00:30:00.00
- Calories: 129
- Distance: 1.5 miles
- Average Pace: 20:00/mile
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January 13th, 2009
leisa
Christmas Morning was a glorious morning: it felt more like a Spring than winter, all the more so as winter’s bluster was particularly virulent just a couple of days before. I hope that for those that celebrate your Holidays were joyful.
With the sun so brilliant, I took my three girls for a walk. With Macy’s surgery (and subsequent re-stitching) we’ve been a bit out of commission while she heals. There were lots of birds out–even robins. Our Richmond, VA winters have been so temperate, that the robins must migrate from northern climes and stay here. I think that our robins go a bit further south. Robins don’t eat seed, so if the ground is frozen they don’t eat.
Last Sunday, I had to transition my 18 year old cat, Mylo. HE’s the second oldest cat that I’ve had, the first oldest, Kip, was transitioned just shy of his 20th birthday. Kip was a first generation cat. I got him when I was 23. Mylo came aboard the year my son was born in 1991, so there is about 8 years difference between the two. But they overlapped. Not long ago I had my 18 yo poodle, Chloe, transitions. So Mylo was the last old-timer.
I have two young cats (9 mos old), and of course my three dogs–they are young too, with Daisey being 4, Macy 3 and Ella about 2. It’s the fewest dogs and cats that we’ve had in a long time.
I also put my daughter on a plane yesterday to Brussels and then to Germany. Her plane was a 5 p.m. so we were able to visit with family both on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. There was no one at the airport. A good day to travel. There was only a 1 hour layover in JFK, and her arrival/departing gates were the furthest apart. I made a copy of the terminal layout. My instructions: When you get off the plane, you start running. She called me when she was on the plane and said she had to do just that!
I just received word that she’s made it to Brussels. She’ll stay with the professional couple to care for their daughter (My daughter is a f-t college student, but keeps an infant part time for this couple) while they visit with friends in Brussels. She’ll then get on a train to go to Frankfurt to visit with a friend who is stationed with her husband in Germany. She’ll visit with them for another week. All in all, a nice adventure for a 20 year old–inexpensive, too, as her air fare was paid for and her lodging. I’m glad for her to have this experience at this age.
We have many blessings and much to be thankful for. But we’ve had much illness and injury this year (I guess we were just reverting to the mean, as we’ve been remarkably spared until this year). I’ll be glad for this year to be tied up and done.
It’s time now to start reviewing the resolutions. I did very well with mine this year. I have a NY’s dinner to plan for–but after that, I’d like to see less food for a while!
Workout:
- Type: Walk
- Date: 12/26/2008
- Time: 08:49:22
- Total Time: 00:40:00.00
- Calories: 172
- Distance: 2 miles
- Average Pace: 20:00/mile
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December 26th, 2008
leisa
Only 10 minutes, but after a run. It was my first MB workout with the heart rate monitor. My run was 147/167. This workout was 141/156. I think that qualifies for a pretty decent cardio workout. Double duty workouts are good!
Hmm…I see that calories are calculated automatically. Brad is always improving this site!
Oh…and my medicine ball is 8lbs. It only feels like the 10lbs that I thought it was!
Workout:
- Type: Strength Training
- Date: 12/14/2008
- Time: 12:01:47
- Total Time: 00:10:00.00
- Average Heart rate: 141
- Max Heart rate: 156
- Calories: 73
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December 14th, 2008
leisa
I had planned to run with all three girls. Ella, my newest dog, did not make it to the trail. Macy stayed near me. She had her t-shirt on! She’s also the one that needs to lose 8 lbs. I have 8 more lbs to lose, too. I suppose we can both do that together.
The trail was deep with leaves. We had 3 1/4 inches of rain a few days ago. The ground and frozen overnight and was just thawing a bit when we did our mid-morning run. It made for some treacherous conditions. I’ still uncertain as to whether or not I like my New Balance trail shoes. Certainly the Gortex keeps my feet dry. And in fact, my feet stay very warm, too. I’m still trying to get used to the feel. In fairness, I’ve only worn them about 5 times–I’m used to a little more supple feel in my trail shoes.
Daisey flushed out 2 large does within about 5 minutes of each other. I’m sure they had looked at their calendar and realized that Sunday was a respite from the hunters. Daisey did not give chase. The doe were beautiful to see with their beautiful white tails lifted straight in the air and their powerful, graceful poise and elegant bounding away from these strangers who surprised them. I tried to channel all of that power and grace as I huffed and puffed my way back home.
Workout:
- Type: Run
- Date: 12/14/2008
- Time: 10:00:00
- Total Time: 00:32:00.00
- Average Heart rate: 147
- Max Heart rate: 167
- Calories: 250
- Distance: 2 miles
- Average Pace: 16:00/mile
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December 14th, 2008
leisa
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